No doubt, women in recovery know what it feels like to hate themselves and feel as though they are fighting an internal enemy everyday. Living like this makes the challenge of recovery even more of a struggle because working hard to heal a self you hate, hardly seems worth it. Think about it, would you put in a great deal of effort to makeover a piece of furniture or a car that you hate? Or would you look for a piece of furniture or car you do like and then decide to fix it up?
Recovery is hard work especially initially. Who wants to put work into something you think isn’t worth it? Right? So the issue then becomes helping you see your value and worth so that you let go of the old perception of self created by your abuser. Once you can do this, you will connect with your true self and realize that absolutely you are worth healing!
50 Affirmations for Women in Recovery is Too Much
The work of healing from trauma and abuse can seem highly daunting so the last thing women in recovery need is a long list of affirmations to add to the journey of healing and overcoming. I know this because that is what I was sent home with early on in my my recovery in 2003. Yup! 50 positive affirmations every day for 6 months 5 times a day. I often felt overwhelmed with making sure I had each and every little aspect of myself, my life, my relationships, etc. covered in those affirmations. Without realizing it, I believed that if I did not include each of my issues in that list then I was doomed to a life of failure and shame.
Thank God I can share with you guys that is not the case. Pretty much any issue facing women in recovery can be traced back to a lack of unconditional love. Mind you a lack of unconditional love can be demonstrated in several ways. For example, a parent who dismisses your feelings, doesn’t see your hurt, yells at you and calls you names. Lacking unconditional love can equally appear as parents setting unrealistic expectations for you, expecting you to care for their emotional needs and abuse of all kinds.
Affirmation Topics Can Be Summed Up Into 5 Categories
When you are treated in such a horrific manner as a child, you internalize that treatment as an indicator of your worth. When the pain of feeling like an unloved, unimportant being increases as you get older, you internalize that you are not worthy. Moreover, unconsciously believing that you are not valuable leads to feeing unsafe, pervasive self-doubt, fear of being unlovable, shame and anxiety. As such, affirmations that address these core issues provide enough to pave the way to transformation., you don’t need 50 affirmations every day much less 50 said 5 times a day. :o)
To sum up 5 categories are:
- Lack of safety
- Self-doubt
- Fear of being unlovable
- Shame
- Anxiety
Let’s look at an affirmation to challenge and transform each of those core beliefs.
Women in Recovery Struggle with Feeling Safe
Without getting into all of the workings of the nervous system, let me just say that when you have been traumatized your nervous system stays on high alert as a biological way of keeping you safe. Now, you might know that the danger has passed but your body doesn’t know that. This is why getting back into your body to calm it down is so important to healing from trauma and abuse.
So what’s the affirmation for that? Super simple and powerful…”I am safe.”
Statement for Changing Self-Doubt
Along with the keeping it simple concept above, “I am capable” sums up the entirety of believing that you cannot accomplish something. No matter what it is, forming healthy friendships, working at a career you want, finding love again, etc. You are indeed capable!
No need for long involved statements. “I am capable” works!
You Are Lovable
Again, the simpler, the better. What can be more simple than, “I am loveable?” God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3.) God doesn’t lie. You are absolutely lovable. Just because someone you hoped would show you some love, didn’t, does not mean you are not lovable.
Think about it like this, someone’s treatment of you does not determine your lovability factor. God determined that when He made you. He looked at you and smiled holding you close loving you from His unconditional loving heart. So… no matter what, you are lovable!
Women in Recovery and Shame-It’s Very Common
You are not alone in feeling shame. Shame is a natural consequence of being traumatized and abused. You internalize your worth as a child by how those who are supposed to love you treat you. It’s just the way it works, unfortunately. The good news is that does not in any way shape or form determine your worth.
God’s word says. You are “fearfully and wonderfully made. You works are wonderful.” ~Psalm 139:14
Did you hear that? God’s works are wonderful! You are one of God’s works. Therefore, you are wonderful!
You Can Feel Peaceful
Goodness knows how much anxiety can negatively impact your life. It prevents you from all aspects of living a peaceful, playful and purposeful life. Anxiety can easily get in the way of forming healthy relationships, going after your dreams or simply living your life conducting every day activities like going to the store or interacting with co-workers. So what’s a quick statement to combat anxiety?
“I am filled with the peace of God in my body, mind and spirit.”
There ya go! Your body, mind and spirit (which includes every cell of your body) is now filled with God’s peace.
This affirmation is one of my favorites and I still say it each morning or when I feel activated.
5 Is Enough 🙂
So there ya have it! 5 simple quick affirmations that address the many areas of your life impacted by abuse. No need for overdoing it or trying to list every issue.
Also, remember that you know you better than anyone else so if you want to edit these in any way or add to them-that’s great! Creating resources that you feel connected to will go a long way in helping you heal. Trust God and yourself and make the affirmations your own. :o)
Lastly, I encourage you to give these a try and keep in mind affirmations alone will not change the nervous system’s response to your abuse. It takes the body, mind (affirmations) and spirit to overcome trauma and start discovering hope, freedom and joy! You can do it! I am here rooting for you!
Feel free to email me and let me know what you think or how you made these statements your own.
